As parents, one of the most difficult things that we have to deal with is raising children. Yes it is very rewarding. By rewarding I mean it’s something you have to work for. Your child is growing up and learning new things, their starting to make their own decisions. Sometimes their decisions are not exactly what we had in mind and so we get into a power struggle. Power struggles are very common in parent and child relationships. Here are three steps so that you can get through the power struggle and grow with your child.
Ignore name calling
The first thing to do is after you have given a consequence is to ignore the name calling. This is the most difficult thing for parents to do. Name calling might make you angry or can actually make you sad. Children know how to push your buttons. If you are a parent, you have most likely been called the meanest parent in the world and other names. If you don’t ignore the name calling, you may fall into the trap of giving consequence after consequence and how easy will it be to follow through with a month of grounding for example. As you ignore the names, your child will stop.
Staying calm should be used in conjunction, while ignoring the name calling. If your child is able to see that you are angry they feel they are in control of the situation. Even if you feel angry, let your face and your voice show that you are in control of the situation. You can try distracting yourself to remain calm by doing house hold duties or if there is someone else in the house you can talk to them about how their day is going. I have observed children stopping a power struggle right away when their parent talks to someone else about something completely different then the child.
Don’t repeat yourself
Don’t repeat yourself. When a child does not want to do something they will keep asking why they need to do it. It is easy to continue answering their question with the same answer over and over. Give your child a reason for why they need to do what you are asking them to do. If they continue to ask then ignoring will also be helpful. Once they have stopped the power struggle follow through with your original consequence.
Parents we can do this we can do it together. We can show our children love and support even through the most trying times. Things that are rewarding our lasting and together we can raise the best children possible